This was posted on Craigs List in Oklahoma City, author and Reverend Rod unknown in Mustang, OK.  I wonder if this is for real?

“Reverend Rod is your minister for wedding"s if you have a redneck fantasy wedding or just want to get married at the lake on a pontoon boat i am a flexible Reverend can also provide whole roast pig complete with apple in mouth or luau style and smoked turkey cakes desserts just ask catering photography flowers reception bartenders reception halls and service you let me know what needs are… I can bring and put on my boots and as always prayers and miracles are absolutely free please no wedding ceremonies jumping out of plane but most everything else can be arranged well OK jumping out of planes too what am I going to die and go to heaven i can show you how to go also but anyway i hope you two happiness to both of you with however you choose to get married GOD bless .”

Theme: this image reinforces the spiritual theme that death has lost its power, lost its sting (empty tomb background with stingerless bee).
       

Easter holds wonderful promise! It is the day in which God is convincing us of the resurrection and on that same day is challenging the skeptic that lives in the corner of every one of our hearts.

Death does not have the final word. Easter proclaims that death has lost its power. Life triumphs over death. We no longer have to be quite so afraid. Death loses some of its power and sting.

A father and his seven-year old daughter were riding around in the car. It was a hot summer day, and one of those great big yellow bees flew into their car. The little seven- year old daughter was very much afraid, and so was the father, and so he said: let’s get that bee out of here. But they couldn’t. It went ZZZZZZZZ, scaring them both.

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“Exalted or Humbled” is a sermon interpretation of Philippians 2:5-11.  The theme image plays on the common misunderstanding that Jesus came to be a political king, a Jewish ruler.  It seeks to raise the question about what kind of “King” is Jesus really?

As we hear those familiar words from Philippians, I have to ask myself, “why did God exalt Jesus Christ to be King?”

Why is it that at the name of Jesus, we and all heavenly angels are to fall on our knees? At the name of Jesus, we are to lift up our hands and say, “Jesus Christ is king.” Why? What did Jesus do that was so utterly important? What did Jesus do that placed him in such high esteem before all angels and all people?

Was it because of the quality of his miracles? Was it because he was so magical? Because he was the Happy Houdini of the Holy Land? He walked on water. He turned the water into wine. He raised Lazarus from the dead. Because Jesus was the best miracle worker who ever lived, God has exalted Jesus and made his name greater than all other names. Is that the reason why God exalted Jesus?

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Theme: the Lord God said, “Behold, I make all things new.” ” I restore that which is old, corroded and scarred into someone/something new.

That phrase is found throughout the whole Bible, including the Old Testament lesson for today in Isaiah, chapter 43. In Isaiah 43, we hear that phrase again that God makes all things new. … Isaiah 43 is read often in our church. That is, it is read every year on New Year’s Eve. “Don’t brood over past history. Don’t brood over the mistakes of the years gone by. I the Lord God am doing a new thing in your life. Can’t you see it? Can’t you perceive it? It is like a bud springing forth from the ground. It is like a small crocus poking its head through the dirt. I the Lord God am doing a new thing in your life. Don’t you see it?

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“The Prodigal Son” is a sermon interpretation of Luke 15.  The following image portrays the rebellious son wining and dining and then a forgiving father and repentant son in the foreground.

What does this old classic parable of Jesus have to do with us? Obviously, there are three complex characters: the prodigal son, the older brother, and the father.

First, the youngest son, the prodigal himself. Here in this story we see the story of a human being like you and me, a common and ordinary person who wanted his independence. Who wanted his freedom. Who wanted to do what he wanted to do and not to have to listen to his father and older brother tell him what is right and wrong anymore. He didn’t want to live in the father’s house; he didn’t want to live in the father’s love. He wanted to go out and make it on his own, using his father’s inheritance.

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Theme:  Jesus gives humanity a “Last Chance” to be productive and bear fruit.

Every month, most of us receive a utility bill in the mail.  If you miss just one payment, your next bill will look something like this (see image), which includes a warning of disconnection!  This is your Last Chance to pay up or be disconnected!  No kidding!  Its important to pay attention when you are on your last chance!

Jesus told a parable about Last Chances. According to the Gospel of Luke, Jesus was traveling from Galilee up north to Jerusalem down south. It was an eighty mile journey.

While on that journey to Jerusalem, some unnamed people  came up to Jesus and told them about two nasty disasters which apparently had recently occurred.

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Our prayers surround the people of Haiti during this time of tragedy and sorrow.  We carry them in our minds and hearts.  More importantly, relief and assistance is on its way.

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“Violence Epidemic” is a sermon interpretation of Luke 13:31-35.

While it is difficult to see in the smaller image above, the middle teen has a handgun in his back pocket.

I do not need to tell you the stories about Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine, Virginia Tech, because those words symbolize the violence found in our American society. Columbine was the seventh school in less than a decade to experience mass murders, and now we have more schools to add. Today, we are more keenly aware that we live in a culture of violence.

In l984, Dr. Everett Koop was Surgeon General of the United States. You remember the fellow, the Surgeon General with the chiseled gray beard and old-fashioned face. In 1984, he said that the number one health problem in America was the rising epidemic of violence. In years past, the United States had faced other epidemics e.g. small box and diphtheria, and these past epidemics had to be contained and controlled. Dr. Koop felt the same way about violence in America. Violence had reached epidemic proportions. Of course, almost nothing was done about this rising tide of American violence, and since 1984, we have learned new names like Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine and Virginia .

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“Temptations” is a sermon starter for Luke 4: 1-13.

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Temptations are real and an actual part of our daily lives. Temptations are not theoretical, nor hypothetical nor imaginary. Whether you believe in the devil or not, temptation is real for you. Whether you believe Satan is real or not, your struggles with temptation are real, and so are mine.

We all know about sugar cookies, ice cream, chocolate and popcorn. We all have had experiences with these delicacies of life and they are indeed temptations for us. These are part of the everyday trivial and not so trivial temptations of our lives. It would be nice if these were the only temptations we faced in life.

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Theme: the Presence of God and Glory of God is all around us… in the mountaintops, down in the valleys, and on the plains of life. The goodness of the Spirit of Christ is found in the mountaintops, down at the bottom of the valleys, and in the plains of ordinary living. 
       

First, Christ is present with us in the mountaintop experiences of life. God is present in the exotic times of life, those special moments when you know for sure that there is a God. When you know for sure that Christ has been talking with you.

In the Old Testament, these experiences are called, theophanies. Theo meaning God; epiphany meaning revelation. Revelation of God.

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“Let down your nets” is a sermon interpretation of Luke 5: 1-11.

Today’s story is a fishing story about Simon Peter. Simon Peter, as you know, was a fisherman by trade. He fished the Sea of Galilee. It was and is a big lake, thirteen miles long and eight miles wide. Like some of you, Peter had his own fishing boat and he was in a fishing partnership. It was a fishing family with his brother Andrew and his good friends, James and John. Basically, they were gill netters. Gill netting was and is hard work. The fishermen would fish all night, so the fish wouldn’t see the nets during the night. In the morning, they would take in their haul of fish, salt their fish, and take it to town to sell their fish at the market.

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“Reluctant Mouthpiece” is a sermon interpretation of Jeremiah 1: 4-10.
   

Reluctant. Reluctant to talk. Reluctant to talk about Jesus Christ. Reluctant to talk about Jesus Christ to my unchurched friends. Lutherans are reluctant. You are reluctant. I am reluctant. We are by nature and by culture and by denominational heritage reluctant to talk with our unchurched friends about Jesus Christ.

In a sociological study of Lutherans, it concluded that 90% of all Lutherans rarely or never spoke to anybody about their faith in Jesus Christ. In this study of active Lutheran Christians, active in that they attended church about three out of four times a month, it was found that 40% of these Lutherans never talked to anyone about Christ; 35% of them rarely speak about Christ; 13% of them spoke about Christ to their kids about once a month; and 12% spoke among their family about Christ once a week. Only 12% of active Lutheran church members spoke to their family about Christ on a weekly basis. What a devastating commentary on the Lutheran church. This sociological study concluded that Lutherans, with their Scandinavian heritage, are reluctant to talk about Christ even with their children, not to mention being reluctant to speak with their unchurched friends about Christ.

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Jesus said, "I have come to bring good news to poor people."  This is a sermon interpretation of Luke 4: 14-21. 
      

For most of us, our day has already begun well. That is, we are all alive. Most if not all of us had a good night sleep in a warm bed in a warm house and then a warm breakfast. Most of us adults had a hot cup of coffee the first thing when we got up. I’ve already had my hot latte today. And then we drove to church or rode to church in a warm car and our car had gasoline in the tank. In other words, none of us have really experienced extreme poverty this morning. We slept in warm bed, in a warm house, and had a warm breakfast and rode in a warm car to church. Saying all of that simply means that most of us are not poor.

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“Water Into Wine” is a sermon interpretation of John 2: 1-11.  
     

Ever since the world began, wine has been a favorite beverage for meals, parties, celebrations, and especially for weddings. Wine and wedding have gone hand in hand for centuries. The Bible says that wine is the oil of gladness; that wine brings further joy to the party. Wine helps people smile. Wine helps people to be happy, and people want to be happy at weddings, so they often drink wine. Of course, not at Baptist weddings, of course, not at Norwegian Lutheran weddings. But with those exceptions and a few others, people often drink wine at weddings, and this happens throughout the whole world. Wine is part of the gospel story for today.

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“The Baptism of Jesus” is a sermon igniter for Luke 3: 15-22.
         

When Jesus was baptized, the Spirit of God came down upon him. This Spirit was the very presence of God. This was the same Spirit that was present in creation, when God created the world. In the book of Genesis, it says, “The Spirit of God was hovering above the waters.” The Spirit was brooding above the waters, ready to create life in those waters. Then, that same creative Spirit that was present in the creation story came on the prophets. The prophets were filled with God’s Spirit and they spoke with boldness and authority. Then, that same Spirit came on King David and King David knew that God’s Spirit was in him to help him to rule wisely. Then, that same Spirit came on Jesus at his baptism, this powerful Spirit of God.

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